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Movie Reviews that are Probably More Enjoyable than the Movies Themselves

There is a Film History and Appreciation forum right here on this very Creative COW website.
Most of the discussion is either about current movies (the appreciation part) or classics (90% Star Wars and a few other topics when we get bored with looking at pancakes shaped like the Millenium Falcon - although that never gets old!).

http://forums.creativecow.net/readpost/267/4592

The best moments are where one of the regulars writes a movie review of a current movie, and it is more entertaining than most movies.

Take a recent review of The Host - a teen-oriented sci-fi movie based upon the book by Stephanie "Twilight made me a billionaire" Meyer.

http://forums.creativecow.net/thread/267/4909

Here's the best part of the review:

"Upon looking it up, the book that this is based on is 619 pages!! Apparently Stephanie Meyer doesn't have an editor."

Or a similar one about Oblivion, the Tom Cruise sci-fi movie based upon Tom Cruise's own experiences fighting aliens:

http://forums.creativecow.net/readpost/267/4907

"Is it sad that when I watch Tom Cruise movies nowadays, I spend the entire time thinking about how big of a weirdo he probably is in real life?"

Here are some other examples followed by memorable quotes from the review:

Jurassic Park 3D IMAX, or as the cool kids call it: JP3DIMAX
http://forums.creativecow.net/readpost/267/4840

"-A little kid (probably too young for the movie) left the theater sobbing after the T-Rex scene and didn't come back. You still got it, Jurassic Park... Terrifying toddlers of a whole new generation."

GI Joe 2: Nobody Saw the First One
http://forums.creativecow.net/readpost/267/4797

"-I saw this movie in IMAX 3D (because it was the most convenient screening in relation to when I got to the theater), and I thought the IMAX was ok, I guess. But the 3D was pretty crappy. I forgot I was even watching a 3D movie for most of it."

OZ The Great and Powerful
http://forums.creativecow.net/readpost/267/4664
"Meanwhile the flying monkeys and baboons look about how we all would expect CGI monkeys and baboons to look like in a movie from 2013. Probably about 75% of the things in this movie could be described as "cute."

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Stir Fry Comparison

http://forums.creativecow.net/readpost/267/4187

"The high frame rate 3D was the baby corn. I like the baby corn, but at the same time, I always find a few baby corns on the bottom of the plate when I’m done."

You can search for recent movies and find more - believe me they are a hoot.

Now while on this forum you'll also find threads about great movie endings, desert island movie lists, critiques of actors, directors, awards shows, movie music - just about everything except perhaps lighting design or film vs digital, although we hit most subjects eventually.

Enjoy.

Mike Cohen


Posted by: Mike Cohen on Apr 26, 2013 at 6:00:14 pm movies

Cool Beans

I admit it. I spend a lot of time on the internet.
All day it is available, though we need our bandwidth at work for uploading stuff to our client server, but at home all bets are off.

So what do I do with all this free wifi? Do I read wikipedia on the porch, sipping a mojito with the sun on my face?

Hardly. I sit in my pleather desk chair staring at my 24" HD computer monitor. Nothing like a change of pace from the office!

(speaking of leather-like materials, when I first got out of college, I found a cool bachelor pad in Naugatuck, CT. Naugatuck was made famous as the home of United States Rubber, later known as Uniroyal. As you have probably guessed, everyone's favorite fashion accessory, Naugahyde, was created there. In fact my apartment was just off of Rubber Ave. Oddly, there were a number of adult bookstores also located on Rubber Ave. I'm sure this was just a coincidence!
Another interesting note about Naugatuck was the presence of the Peter Paul factory. Up until 2007, the official town slogan was "Some times you feel like a nut, 'mounds don't" I never liked that expression.)

Ok, back to our story.

So I sit, and I stare and my eyes go fuzzy. Occasionally I find the unexpected surprise.

For example, just tonight, while reading up on the next Space Shuttle flight I discovered:
http://spaceflight1.nasa.gov/realdata/sightings/cities/skywatch.cgi?country...

You can see the International Space Station zip by at a gajillion miles per hour on a clear night. I dutifully went outside with my binoculars, let my eyes adjust, looked 13 degrees past North and lo and behold I saw a twinkling light moving West. Then I realized this was dust on my eyeglasses. I really need to clean those more often. Then, all of a sudden, moving faster than any airplane. In the binos it was a slightly larger twinkle of light, but I know it was the station given its high rate of speed and the multi-colored world flags flapping behind it.

Speaking of the Space Shuttle, when I was in 4th grade we took our first non-Disney trip to Florida. This was the early 80's so a Space Shuttle launch was still a pretty big deal. We went to the beach, moved closer to someone who had a radio (people used to bring boom boxes to the beach) and listened to the countdown. I should mention we were in Deerfield Beach, about 200 miles south of the Cape. People were pointing in every direction at all the wrong things, when suddenly we saw the faint streak of smoke as Columbia moved up and out over the Atlantic. I dutifully snapped a picture with my 110 instamatic camera. The negative for one picture is about the size of the fingernail on your ring finger, so when we picked up our prints from Fox Photo in the Valley West Mall, all you could see was blue sky and beach. Oh well, I remember being there anyway.)

Speaking of the Space Shuttle (again) - years later while visiting one of the Orlando area attractions, I saw the Columbia launch again - this time, I'm afraid, on its final journey. Luckily I had since upgraded my 110 Instamatic to digital.



Another fascinating web diversion is the various mapping services. Satellite maps and streetview is cool, especially for planning a driving expedition in a strange city (like Naugatuck). I have discussed this before in my travel related blogs.

Here's a little video I made when Streetview was first released:



Google Earth is even cooler. I like going to, say, Disney World, where there is a full 3D version of the theme parks actually created by Disney. You can't go on the rides, but there are enough home videos on the webs if you desire a trip through Mister Toad's Wild Ride. And you save yourself $150!

The Live Maps is pretty cool also. My favorite activity is checking out all the houses I have lived in. Apologies to the current residents.

http://www.bing.com/maps/default.aspx?v=2&FORM=LMLTCP&cp=qxx41m75mvhn&style...

My formative years in West Des Moines. Malls. Highways. TGI Fridays. Life was good. We had previously lived in a sleepy little town in Western Massachusetts which, at the time, had no highways, no mall and a once famous restaurant called the Busy Bee.

http://www.bing.com/maps/default.aspx?v=2&FORM=LMLTCP&cp=r2563d8wz2jk&style...

I won't bore you with all 7 of my boyhood homes. E-mail me if you must know them all.

Although here is everyone's favorite family home, the Brady Bunch house:
http://www.bing.com/maps/default.aspx?v=2&FORM=LMLTCP&cp=ppqfkt541ttz&style...

Who knew it was right on the LA River?

Ok, now for the backlot tour of Cine-Med, my employer.

Here is the facade of our home office, in a serene, park like setting:


The other side of the building looks out over a pond and adjacent garden center.



Our lobby displays some awards



And our original Arri 16mm camera.



Alas, I have never shot with this, but some classic films were captured in this format. Maybe you have seen some of these:

http://cine-med.com/index.php?subnav=acs&id=ACS-0632

http://cine-med.com/index.php?subnav=acs&id=ACS-0636

This 2nd film is by Dr Blalock. If surgeons are Hollywood directors, he was Cecil B DeMille. Check out the movie "Something the Lord Made" for more.

Lucky for me I get to work with modern day equivalents - the Scorsese, Spielberg, DePalma, Kubrick and Fincher of surgery.

Back to our tour:

Board Room

Snack and Coffee Station

Lunch Room

Production Dept

Home Base



So, this concludes our tour of my childhood homes, a historic glimpse at the rubber and almond candy industries and of course the medical education headquarters. Please visit the gift shop on your way out and come back and see us soon.

Oh, and I nearly forgot - thanks for reading.

Mike Cohen







Posted by: Mike Cohen on Jul 10, 2009 at 8:32:40 pm maps, memories, movies



I have a passion for my job, which entails training for medical professionals such as surgeons, nurses and administrators, not to mention various industries.

Technology is great, but how you apply your skills is what pays the bills.

Years ago I canceled my Media 100 support contract upon discovering what a treasure trove of helpful advice can be found on the Creative COW website. I am proud to be a part of this fantastic community.

In my blog I talk a little about media production, a lot about travel and workflow, and occasionally about cooking, nature and my four-legged friends.

Follow me on Twitter: med_ed_mike

I'm also on LinkedIn if you can't get enough of me!




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